Human rights play an important role in this. They are a non-permissive link between humanitarian values and their translation and implementation in each country and under specific circumstances. Indignation over injustice, as is happening to refugees now, plays a crucial role. That indignation is the fuel for individual and collective action. Fuel for all sorts of institutions and organizations that in their turn are the driving force of human rights.

This concerns in the first place the most basic human rights, fundamental rights that apply to everyone, young and old. Protection against inhuman treatment, against violence, against sowing hatred and any other violation of dignity and integrity. For children, specific rights have been added. Together, we could call them ADHD-rights: all those rights that offer the child, as a human being and as a child, more chances of and claims to promotion and protection of Attachment, Dignity, Health and Development.

Attachment, or rather attachment security, starts with physical and emotional safety. For that purpose, love is needed in the first place. The Convention on the Rights of the Child is for good reason the only convention that literally mentions love. The preamble of the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) states that each child should grow up in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding. This month sees the 25th anniversary of the entry into force of the CRC. This, unfortunately, is no reason for a party if we let the words of the preamble sink in and check them against the reality for millions of children all over the world, far away and very close by.

Love (affection, nurturing, cuddling) is the first of the Big Five basic needs for a healthy development from child to adult. The other four are: Limits (boundaries, rules, structure); Respect (for the freedom of the child to express his or her needs and feelings); Learning (own responsibilities, demands and expectations that contribute to the development of competence, identity and autonomy); and Play (spontaneity). These Big Five stem from the theory that underlies Schema Therapy. This type of therapy is even achieving success with psychopaths, who were considered untreatable for a long time. The Big Five are like the fingers that together form a hand we must put out to children. The thumb up: Love. The forefinger of the Limits. The middle finger (yes, that one, but not put up!) of Respect. The ring finger of Learning. And the little finger of Play.

If the Big Five have not been adequately met, to a serious degree, from early childhood on, this has lifelong consequences for physical health, psychological and emotional wellbeing, intimate relationships, raising one’s own children, work and other contributions to society. It more often than we think underlies addictions, chronic medical and psychological afflictions, an unhealthy or even dangerous lifestyle, welfare dependency, depressions, suicidality. But it often also underlies antisocial behaviour such as sowing hatred, violence and crime. We are hence, rightly, talking about ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences; or about Childhood Trauma. We have gained more knowledge on this and with that knowledge, a responsibility has arisen that no longer can be denied or escaped. All children, and hence certainly also the extra vulnerable refugee children, in our country and outside, have a right to our commitment to link our humanitarian values, as translated in fundamental human rights and rights of the child, to the scientific knowledge that we have gained over the past decennia in the field of treatment and prevention of childhood trauma.

The Big Five are guaranteed in several interrelated provisions of the Convention on the Rights of the Child and in particular in the convention principles on the prioritization of the best interests of the child and his or her healthy development, non-discrimination, and participation: the child’s right to be seen and heard (respectively the articles 3, 6, 2 and 12 CRC). A separate provision is even devoted to refugee children, article 22 CRC, which obliges governments to, in addition to their other obligations, offer appropriate protection and humanitarian assistance. Unfortunately, governments often need encouragement and sometimes some harder action: Put your money where your mouth is! Give refugee children, give all children, the Big Five! Later, as they grow up, these children will dedicatedly contribute to a more peaceful, safe and healthy society. And will pass the Big Five on to the next generation.

Wishful thinking and naive, you say, given the massive influx, the dreaded pull factor? The Big Five can also be translated into a realistic European and national refugee policy with the following basic assumptions. Love: a fundamentally positive attitude. Limits: all lay load on the willing horse. Respect: we presume mutual respect and freedom of speech. Learning: civic integration is compulsory in regard to language, democratic values, equal rights of men and women and positive parenting without hitting and humiliation. Play: you are given every opportunity but you will have to make the most of opportunities yourself. And maybe we should add a Big Five accommodation for opponents: Schema therapy for ‘untreatable’ hate preachers.